The First Day of Kartika-vrata

Today is Sarad Purnima. On one side is Saradiya rasa yatra, and on the other side, it is the beginning of Urja vrata, Kartika vrata, Damodara vrata, and niyama seva. The meaning of niyama seva is not niyama agraha. There is niyama agraha and niyamagraha. Pray and request with a humble mood, “O Prabhu, I know that I am not qualified. I am insignificant. But, please give me energy and strength, and enable me to follow bhakti in this life. I want to serve, but I am not qualified. Then, how can I serve? How can I go beyond the Himalayas and reach the transcendental abode of Goloka Vrndavana dhama? My body, mind, and senses do not support me in spiritual service. They say, ‘You are tired. Take rest. This is not good for you.’ They give many types of instructions. The mind tells many things. How can I cross the mind, body, and senses? How can I engage them in service? Please help.”

Practice every day. A baby lies, then sits, then crawls, then walks on its knees, and then tries to stand but falls over. The whole family helps it to walk. If we try to follow bhakti, then the guru-varga will help us walk on the path of bhakti. The baby does not think, “I will lie down forever. I will never sit up.” The baby tries, and then its family members catch its hands and help the baby to walk. Then it tries to walk on its own and falls, and then tries again and falls again. Slowly, it becomes strong, and then it begins to run. Even if it slips, there is no problem. It again gets up and walks and runs.

In this life, we are more than infants. We are nothing. But, we have been given a chance to follow Kartika-vrata, Urja-vrata, Niyama-vrata, Caturmasya, Katyayani-vrata, Maga-vrata, and so forth. These are very helpful for us. They give us spiritual strength. Then, we will not be lame and blind. Otherwise, if we are lame there is a problem, and if we are blind, there is more of a problem. Unless spiritual power comes to us, we are weak, and we will lose everything.

During the time of Kartika-vrata and Radha-Damodara-vrata, Srila Gurudeva would sing the Damodarastakam, Upadesamrtam, Siksastakam, and Manah Siksa, and he would give a class on these books. He would speak on Srimad Bhagavatam, and sometimes on Rasa-pancadhyaya – Gopi-gita, Venu-gita, Brahmara-gita, Yugala-gita, and Pranaya-gita. These chapters of the Bhagavatam are very close to Krsna. They are His nectar and please Him inestimably. Wherever Krsna hears Rasa-pancadhyaya, He stays nearby.

Sukadeva Gosvami spoke to Pariksita Maharaja in the assembly of all the sages. They asked Sukadeva, “You said that the Bhagavatam is Krsna’s svarupa. But, where is Krsna? He has not come? So, how can the Bhagavatam be considered Krsna’s svarupa?” Some of the sages had some doubt. But, everyone heard the Bhagavatam, and remembered Krsna. Then Krsna came in their hearts and minds. They were immersed in the thoughts of Krsna. After hearing the Bhagavatam, Pariksita Maharaja’s mother Uttara asked her son, “You heard the Bhagavatam, and I also heard it. But, I don’t remember the meaning or essence of it. Sukadeva Gosvami spoke continuously for seven days and nights, but what should we really follow? I don’t know anything.”

Pariksita Maharaja replied, “O mother, Krsna is kisora. You should develop a sweet relationship with Him. He is your lover.” Can someone tell this to his mother? She said, “How can I see Krsna? Where is He, and will He accept me?”

Pariksita Maharaja said, “If you are ready, and if you have a desire to be accepted, then Krsna will accept you.”

Krsna is very kind, He accepted 16,108 princesses, and made them His queens in Dvaraka. But, the Vraja-devis are with Him twenty-four hours a day. If you want to follow the Vraja-devi’s footsteps, then Krsna will be your beloved, and you will understand everything. Then, you will understand Krsna-seva. Unless you are nearby someone, how can you understand the means of serving him? First, make a relationship, and then you will get instructions on how to serve with affection. If you have no relation, then how will you understand how to serve?

Pariksita Maharaja’s mother was not shy. She thought, “Oh, Krsna has really come and accepted me.” On one side, Pariksita Maharaja left to eternal Vrndavana. And Uttara, his mother, entered this sadhana. She did not call him her son. She said, “You are my Guru.” This is called parakiya diksa in the parakiya-parampara. The svakiya parampara diksa is another process.

Some people take diksa from different Gurus. Children go from their parents to play school and school, but once they are qualified, they will come back to their parents and their own family. Many acaryas are there who will teach you how to make a relationship with Krsna. Go to the acaryas and Gurus to learn. But, once you are qualified, Vrnda-devi will engage you in your eternal service. Then, you will attain svarupa siddhi. This is the parakiya-parampara, or bhagavat-parampara. But, you must cross these different stages. Therefore, you need a guardian. But, in the eternal world, you will see your real svarupa and Guru. There, you will have another svarupa.

Today, we will start the discussion on Damodarastakam. In the evening, we will hear more about Param Gurudeva, and we will offer puspanjali. Now, we have many services. Guru puja will be at eight o’clock. We will again come together at eleven o’clock, start kirtana, and we will offer puspanjali then also. I don’t know when Maharaja will return from Radha Kunda.

If you invite someone, it is vaidhi-marga. And if people have anuraga, they automatically come. This is pusti-marga, or parakiya-marga. Yesterday, people had anuraga for pasta. Therefore, many are came. And if they have anuraga for Param Gurudeva, they will come today. I did not invite anyone here because I am not the owner. The guru-varga is the owner. If people have a love for the guru-varga, they will come, and if they don’t come, ‘Haribol’. I am not an authority, owner, or guardian who invites others. People have given me a room here, and therefore I came. The mahanta here has called me and offered me a room. Therefore, I came. Otherwise, I would not come.

The Vraja-devis go into the forest, and wherever they go, they cook for Krsna, and give some prasadam for Krsna. If Krsna has no plates and bowls, they make bowls inside the stone. There, they give sweet-rice, curry-sauce, and dal batti. Now, I understand why they leave their homes, and wherever they go, they serve. I understand this process now. And wherever they go, many people follow them. Whoever has anuraga will come.

Respect everyone, and if people do not come, do not call them. Do not disturb anyone. They are respected divine masters. If you make any offense to them, you will lose your life. Be very careful. But, if anyone comes, then respect them with your heart, and serve them. If they come, it is by Krsna’s desire; Krsna and Gurudeva have called them. If I call, then I am independent. And then, if I do not serve and respect them properly, then I will make an offense.

Siva Thakura told Sati, “Don’t go to your father’s house. He has not invited you.”

She said, “I have the right to go. He is my father. There is no need for an invitation to go to one’s father or Guru.”

But, Siva said, “No, don’t go.” She went anyway, and then we know what happened to her. Afterward, Siva Thakura gave many instructions which can be read in the Puranas or in the Bhagavatam.

If people come to wherever hari-kirtana, hari-katha, and hari-seva are going on, by the desire of Krsna and the Guru-varga, then understand that they are coming to help us, and that they have been sent by Krsna. There are here to purify us, and Krsna has given us a chance to serve Vaisnavas.

Now, we will read the first sloka of Damodarastakam, and then we will perform Guru puja. Srila Gurudeva published Damodara lila described in Srimad Bhagavatam. This has just been published this year. Only a hundred copies have been printed so far. Yasoda Damodara is in Gokula Mahavana, and Radha Damodara is in Vrndavana. But, now these deities are in Jaipur. Why did they leave Vraja and go to Jaipur? Can He not tolerate separation? Anyhow, we will hear from the Bhagavatam tomorrow. Now, we will read the first verse from Damodarastakam.

namamisvaram sac-cid-ananda-rupam
lasat-kundalam gokule bhrajamanam
yasoda-bhiyolukhalad dhavamanam
paramrishtam atyantato drutya gopya

Sanatana Gosvami and Param Gurudeva wrote a purport here. Before starting bhajana or hari katha, you must do mangalacarana. First you pray for their blessings and offer obeisance. Then, you will make relation, and will understand something, and will become close to them. Then, your life will not be spoiled. Otherwise, speculation is not permanent. Speculation lasts for a little while, but the reality is unlimited, and more and more truths will be revealed.

Therefore, Satyavrata muni first offers pranama – namamisvaram. “O Isvaral, I offer pranama to You.” Who is Isvara? Rama, Parasurama, Vamanadeva, Visnu, Jagannatha, Nrsingadeva – out of unlimited incarnations of the Lord, there are twenty-four prominent ones. “I offer pranama to all of these Lords.” Why? Isita, They have power. They can accept our respect and love. They purify that and clean us.

If a child takes birth in a good place, it gets taught good etiquette. When they come to a good school, they get taught to dress nicely, and they get taught what to eat. In gurukulas, the students get taught all etiquette.

Therefore, we offer pranama to all Isvaras that appear throughout the four yugas. We pray, “Please, accept my obeisance. For millions of lifetimes, I have taken birth. I was present in Rama’s time, in Nrsimhadeva’s time, in Kalki’s time, in Krsna’s time, and in Visnu’s time. The soul is eternal. However, at that time, I did not have the faith and knowledge to offer obeisance. Kamsa was right in front of Krsna, and Ravana was in front of Rama. I am a greater demon than Kamsa, Ravana or Hiranyakasipu. I have taken birth for millions of lives, but I never prayed to You. I never asked You for help. Therefore, I offer my prayers to You—namamisvaram. Before, I would not offer even pranama. I was dumb, blind, and useless.”

Kaviraja Gosvami said:

jayatam suratau pangor
mama manda-mater gati
mat-sarvasva-padambhojau
radha-madana-mohanau

“Whatever life I achieved, I was surata, or filled with lust. I had a good friendship with lust, and to satisfy my lust, I have done everything. However, I never took shelter of Radha Govinda deva, or of Madana Mohana deva. Why? Madan Mohana defeats lust and cleanses us. But, I did not take shelter of Him. I had no desire to take shelter of Him. I am mandamati and mandagati, and pangu, or lame. But, jayatam suratau pangor, I cannot walk to attain this rati, or love for God. I have no strength to go to sadhus and to pray to them for this love. I cannot go in this direction.”

Satyavata Muni says, “For millions of lives, I have taken birth, and You have also appeared millions of times, but I never offered pranama, and I never asked You to help me and to purify me. Please, I pray to You. O Prabhu, You are sat-cit-ananda rupam. You are the embodiment of one quality and three qualities at the same time. Sat-svarupa is Baladeva Prabhu, or Guru. You sent many Gurus to help. Before, I had no knowledge. I did not know You. I never respected You. I thought that I was God, that I was Brahma, sarvam khalv idam brahma.”

Guru and Vaisnavas have kindly told us, “Now it is Damodara vrata. Come to Vrndavana to observe this vrata. I will give you lodging and everything. You should stay with me during Kartika-vrata. Go on parikrama, take darsana of the holy places. You do not need to pay or do service. Just follow bhakti.” But, we hesitate to go.

We think, “I may not have to pay, but I want you to give me ten-thousand dollars after parikrama.”

Gurudeva would say, “I will give you twenty-thousand. Just come.” They bring us for parikrama, and they engage us in harikatha, service, parikrama, and bhakti every day. At the end, Gurudeva would say, “I will give you twenty-thousand dollars now.”

“Oh Gurudeva, no need.”

Then, they hold their ears and say, “Please, excuse me. I am a rascal. I want to steal your blood.” Then, they receive guru-bhakti, and the realization comes. Before, they were very strange and stubborn, but then they change. Similarly, we don’t want to come to God, Guru, or the Vaisnavas without offering respects and obeisance.

Sat-cit-ananda rupam; Baladeva is Sat svarupa. The guru-varga is the personification of Sat. They come, teach us, and give us cit-jnana, or spiritual knowledge. They give us knowledge of the absolute truth.

vadanti tat tattva-vidas
tattvam yaj jnanam advayam
brahmeti Paramtmeti
bhagavan iti sabdyate

Srimad Bhagavatam 1.2.11

They teach us ananda rupam. We go everywhere, but we find no ananda, no bliss. Ananda rupa stays with Ananda svarupini-Srimati Radharani. Ananda, or bliss, is present in seva. Without seva, there is no rasa. Service has all rasa. This ananda, or hladini is with seva. Without seva, there is no meva, or feast. Before the jiva has no tendency to serve, and wants everyone to serve him, and everyone to like him. But then, he understands that he lost everything. He then prays, “O Prabhu, You have given me this chance. Now, I pray to all the incarnations. I hold my ears and understand that I am a very insignificant living entity. Before, I was proud, but now I gave up this pride. Namami – I have no ahankara. Now, I offer myself. Before, this was not possible. Now, I offer pranama to all incarnations, to all the part and parcels of God.”

krpa koro’ vaisnava thakura
sambandha janiya, bhajite bhajite,
abhiman hao dura

‘ami to vaisnava’, e buddhi hoile,
amani na ho’bo ami
pratisthasa asi’, hrdoy dusibe,
hoibo niraya-gami

“Now, I am going on the path to hell. I am not going on the helpline; I am going on the line towards hell. Why? It is because I am so attached to my prestige. I collect pride. O Prabhu, now I offer myself to You.” This is called saranagati.

First comes saranagata, and then we become akincana, then we can become surrendered. Then, atma samarpana is possible. This mood comes the first time. This is taught by Satyavata Muni. Gurudeva, Param Gurudeva, and our guru-varga teach this. They tell us, “Come to the holy dhama.”

atma-nivedana, tuwa pade kori’
hoinu parama sukhi
duhkha dure gelo, cinta na rohilo,
caudike ananda dekhi

Bhaktivinoda Thakura also says:

ki jani ki bale, tomara dhamete,
hoinu saranagata
tumi doya-moy, patita-pavana,
patita-tarane rata

“I came to the holy dhama, but I am not saranagata to the holy dhama.” People look for nice gardens, clean places, nice toilets, nice rooms, and all facility, cars, servants, etc. But, if we are not servants, then who will serve us? First be sarangata. Then, look at the family of God, and then you will understand. Otherwise, you cannot understand, and you will not realize the truth. Therefore the first line is— namamisvaram sat-cit-ananda rupam.

Time is over now. In the evening we will give another purport to this sloka. We will hear how this is related to Param Gurudeva. We will understand how the guru-varga is sat svarupa, and how they give sat-vritti, or pure tendency. I will try to explain this in the evening. If we can accept this, or hear this, then this is offering ourselves, and then we can be atma nivedana. Then, we can surrender ourselves and become niskincana and akincana. First, we therefore pray for saranagati.

Now, we will perform Guru puja, and do our seva. By eleven or eleven-thirty everyone should be present here, and offer puspanjali again.