Giridhārī Prabhu: Bhagavatī Paurṇamāsī told the sādhana-siddha gopīs to worship Kātyāyanī Devī, which is a specific form of Durgā. There are many forms of Durgā, by the names caṇḍī, Bairabhī, Kālī, Vaiṣṇavī, and so forth. Is there any specific importance of having the gopīs performing ‘Kātyāyanī-Vrata’ instead of a vrata in regard to any other deity of Durgā?
Śrīpāda Premānanda Prabhu: This question has a very strange and bitter answer, which burns like chili powder. It will be like cutting the skin, and then giving salt and chili powder—the pain will be like that. What can I do? Since many years, I did not want to give this answer. Now that I start this it will cause a very big problem. I know this, but since I am starting today, every year, more pain will come. Today, I am inserting a thin sword and digging inside the skin, and then I’m putting chili powder and salt in the wound, and it will cause an infection, and so much puss and pain. What can I do? The temple mahānta has requested me to speak. If another person asked me, I would not answer. But the mahānta has now requested me, so I must speak, otherwise he will kick me out of the temple.
That person who is always serving, who is always present near guru, Vaiṣṇavas, and bhakti—he is a mahānta. That person who is performing a mahān, very great work, and who is mehanati, very hard-working, he is mahānta. One who is lazy and crazy is only anta, finished, not a mahānta. But I will not glorify him too much, or he will be like the follow of Prabhupāda, who received a gold cup that was touched by Prabhupāda’s lips, and then he thought, “I am the dearmost of Prabhupāda.” Then he would not care for anyone else. Later, Prabhupāda told Vinoda to kick that person out of the maṭha. He said “Vinoda, why haven’t you kicked him out?”
Vinoda said, “He has come to you after millions of lives, how can I kick him out? Then he will go back into māyā and do even more wrong.”
Prabhupāda called another brahmacārī, and said, “Pack his belongings, put them in the bull cart, take them to a boat by the Gaṅgā, put his luggage in the boat, and send him across the Gaṅgā, back to his home. He will not stay more in temple.”
prabhutā pāya mada kahi nahī͂
When we receive great titles, like a president, chairman, or this and that, or become very great, and some pride comes inside of us, then it means this is our end of times, and we are anta, finished. Respect, name and fame, popularity, and so many professional titles, when this comes to us, we should know it is our end times. Then our bhakti and bhajana cannot increase. These posts come due to aparādha. People give a turban, tilaka, respect, and say, “You are the greatest, you are superior among everyone.” Then we are anta, mahānta. This is the last day of the bogus mahānta. Mahānta also means the last position.
Another meaning of mahānta is for one who is at the end of māyā. The mahānta means they will soon cross māyā and enter Goloka Vṛndāvana. This is also the meaning of mahānta. Mahānta also means that he will make everyone mahan, great. He will collect all souls and offer them to Śrīla Gurudeva. Then he is called mahānta. There are different meanings of mahānta.
But this is not our question. Our question is about puss, blood, and very painful things. Since many years I tried to cover this. A treatment is not possible for this answer. This answer will be like a cancer. I am very sad. If I do not speak this, it is also a problem, and if I speak it, then it is also a problem. Anyhow, Bhagavatī Paurṇamāsī is very kind. She knows that a serious operation is required. Without a serious operation, the jīva cannot feel well. Bhagavatī Paurṇamāsī is very strong. She knows that after a very long time, performing sādhana, the sādhakas have come in Vṛndāvana. Kṛṣṇa is bhoktā, the supreme enjoyer, and all are bhogya, the objects of enjoyment. When jīvas perform sādhana inside Mahāmāyā, they do everything right, but, why do they lose all the results which they desire? They have lust. They do more and more sādhana, and collect so much brahma-śakti. This śakti increases, and they cannot control themselves. They can never control themselves. They use this energy. They look for a disciple, or any place to put this energy. I will not give examples. Look at many famous ācāryas in the world, and look in the papers, where they announce about these bogus ācāryas debauchery. They perform bhajana and collect brahma-śakti, but do not use it properly. They are uncontrolled. One person collects so much wealth, but how should he use it? When he misuses this wealth, artha, it increases anarthas. And when it is used in a proper way, it leads to paramārtha, the transcendental wealth. Brahma-śakti comes to the jīvas, through sādhana, and chanting mantra. Then, they go in the wrong direction. How?
āula, bāula, kartābhajā, neḍā, daraveśa, sā̃i,
sahajiyā, sakhībhekī, smārta, jāta-gosā̃i,
ativāḍī, cūḍādhārī, gaurāṅga-nāgarī
First there were 13 apasampradāyas described. Then Param Gurudeva said that 13×3, equals 39 apasampradāyas. Where did these come from? People chanted harināma and mantra, collecting brahma-śakti, and then they independently used it. Before, they were surrendered. When śakti came, power, then they became independent.
Prabhūta pāya mada kahi nahī͂
Then they said, “I am Rāma, I am Kṛṣṇa, I am Caitanya, I am Nrsiṁha, I am an avatāra of God, I am more than God.”
Then, a very great operation is required. Who will perform that operation? This example is there to teach the baddha-jīvas. Bhagavatī Paurṇamāsī taught the sādhana-siddha gopīs, “You have come to Vṛndāvana, but you must go back to Kātyāyanī. Pray there, and she will cleanse you completely. She will take out everything, and then send you ahead once you are prepared. You have come by the power of your sādhana, and by the boon of Rāmacandra, but now you must go back.”
This is a very big tension. For example, one person came to a temple, to the shelter of a guru, and the guru told him, “What do you need?”
“I need shelter, and dīkṣā.”
“You want to take dīkṣā?”
“Bathe in the Yamunā and return,” Gurudeva said.
The aspirant went to the Yamunā and bathed. A sweeper lady came daily to the temple. The guru told her, “Be ready. You daily clean the toilets and throw the excrement out.”
At that time there was no sewer line, a person would come and collect the stool and urine, and all garbage, and would take it and throw it away.
The guru said, “Collect all of this, and when this person is coming back, through all the garbage in front of him, so that dust flies up and he becomes contaminated. Then run, for he will try to kill you.”
She was ready as he approached. He had bathed, worn nice cloth, put on tilaka, candana, and perfume, scents, had a big śikhā, and had a very nice svarūpa. She threw the refuse in his direction and ran. He chased her, took a stone and threw it at her, but anyhow she escaped. He returned to the Yamunā to bathe again, then put on new cloth, after bathing with soap, and came back to his guru.
When he returned, the guru said, “The auspicious time to take initiation has passed. The proper muhūrta will come back in one year. You must wait until then.”
He waited for one year. Then, he came again, and his Gurudeva told him to go bathe in the Yamunā.
“Go bathe in the Yamunā.”
After he went, the guru said, “O sweeper lady, be ready again. Today, don’t throw the refuse at a distance from him. Hide in the bushes, and when he comes by, throw everything directly in front of him, so that he is made unclean. Then run and hide nearby me.”
The aspirant had forgotten what happened the previous year. As he came back from the Yamunā, the sweeper lady threw everything at him, and he was soiled and smelt like the lavatory. Oh! Such a nice fragrance! He ran again to the Yamunā, to bathe quickly, thinking the time would be over. He fell in the water and mud, and his cloth ripped and was muddied. He came back to his guru, and his Gurudeva said, “The time has passed. Come next year.”
The next year, he came, and his guru told him the same thing, to go back to the Yamunā and bathe.
The guru told the sweeper, “Take the stool and urine, mix it all together with drain water, and take it in a bucket on top of the gate, and when he enters through, give him complete abhiṣeka. Bathe him with the stool and urine. Then stand in front of him, and see what he does. I will be nearby, don’t worry.”
She was ready, and as he entered, she threw the entire bucket of excrement on the aspirant. It covered his entire body, and entered his eyes, ears, and nose. He fell down in prostrated obeisances at the feet of the sweeper lady, and prayed to her, “You are my guru. You have taught me tolerance. Gurudeva has cleaned me through you. You are Mahāmāyā. You are Durgā. You are Kātyāyanī. You are my first guru. If you did not teach me tolerance and patience, I would go to guru, with my false ego, and would collect only pride. Then with brahma-śakti, my ego would only grow higher and higher. Now I have given up everything, become completely free of false ego and pride and am prepared to surrender.”
Then his guru appeared before him and said, “Now you do not have to go and bathe, I will give you dīkṣā, transcendental knowledge, immediately.”
Who is ready to take this dīkṣā? Everyone comes full of anarthas. They come with so much ego, and with their own desires and try to control Gurudeva. They say, “Gurudeva do this, Gurudeva do that. Gurudeva fulfill this desire.”
“Are you Gurudeva, or my disciple? Are you my follower, or am I your follower? Do you give me orders, or do I give you orders?”
Then what will come from Gurudeva? Do we serve Gurudeva continuously, without any condition, or not? We have so many anarthas and so much false ego. Who will clean this? We come to the temple and do bhajana. We are god sisters and god brothers. In one center, we address the ladies as ‘Mātāji.’ That is the rule in some places. Whatever lady you see, you must call her Mātāji. After some days, then what is the condition? Now they are no longer Mātājis. They are lovers. Then they call her Bamāji, or Priyāji. Now they are property for enjoyment. Is this the fruit of our bhajana?
Yogamāyā Vṛndā-devī therefore sent the gopīs to Kātyāyanī, to first clean everything, and then they could come back. Unless they were first clean, then they could not properly come. We heard how they were actually worshipping Kṛṣṇa, but externally, as a lesson for the conditioned souls, even after coming to Vraja, they had to worship Kātyāyanī.
vāco vegaṁ manasaḥ krodha-vegaṁ
We have all these urges. When we receive anything, do we use it properly for God? It is not possible for us. We have all opulence. Where do we use it?
In the Vālmīki Rāmāyaṇa, it is described that one day a dog came limping in to Rāmacandra’s assembly. The dog cried and complained to Rāma. Rāma knows the language of all beings.
Rāma asked, “What is your trouble?”
“Oh, a paṇdita from a temple broke my legs by beating me.”
“Oh, he is a brāhmaṇa. How can I punish him?” Rāma called His guru, Vaśiṣṭha, who sent for the brāhmaṇa and asked him why he had beaten the dog.
“The dog was laying in my way on the road.”
“The road is very big,” the dog said. “I was laying on one side, why did he beat me? He could have gone around me. I have no one to treat me, who will help me? Why did he break my legs?”
Vaśiṣṭha asked the dog, “Please select a punishment he should be given.”
“You should punish him by making him the mahānta of the greatest Kālī temple. He must be the guru there.”
That is the biggest temple in India. Then the Brahmin became very happy, and said, “I will be a great ācārya.”
Vaśiṣṭha asked the dog, “Why did you pray to give him this? Is it a boon or a curse?”
“It is a curse,” the dog said. “Before I was the ācārya there. Everything would come to me. All donations, all women and wealth, all food and cloth, and I was uncontrolled. I could not control my mind and senses, and I thought I was nearby Brahma, and was more than Parabrahma. All respect, name and fame, pūjā and pratiṣṭhā came to me. Without any difficulty, everything would come. And I would take it without any second thought. Now I have become a dog, and day and night my tongue is hanging out. I suffer day and night, and must eat dead bodies, stool, rubbish and so many foul things.”
People come for bhajana, and go up higher and higher, to a high place. At that time, it is essential they be fixed in vairāgya, renunciation. They cannot have both things. Dāsa Gosvāmī would only take buttermilk, and Sanātana Gosvāmī would only take a few chickpeas to maintain his body. When you go to a high post, and are an authority, and have so much facility for enjoyment, you must be renounced and not touch it. If you have desire for this, then you are destined to fall. This is not the process of bhajana. You cannot get the anurāga sindhu, or prema-rasa sindhu. You will not be anointed with the salve of pure love in this manner. If you shower and enter the realm of pure anurāga, how can you touch all the rubbish of this world? How can you touch the gifts of māyā?
viṣaye je prīti ebe āchaye āmār
sei-mata prīti hauk caraṇe tomār
[As much attachment as I now have for worldly affairs, I pray that a similar degree of attachment may develop for Your holy feet.]
bhaktih paresanubhavo viraktir
anyatra caisa trika eka-kalah
prapadyamanasya yathasnatah syus
tustih pustih ksud-apayo ‘nu-ghasam
[Devotion, direct experience of the Supreme Lord, and detachment from other things—these three occur simultaneously for one who has taken shelter of the Supreme Lord, in the same way as pleasure, nourishment, and relief from hunger come simultaneously and increasingly, with each bite for a person engaged in eating.]
By following bhakti, vairāgya will come. We will be detached. And if detachment does not come, we should know we are not following bhakti. It is only our enjoyment.
Viraktir anyatra—we should be detached from all other things. If we have bhakti, then realization of God will come. We will have no desire to eat nicely, to enjoy, or to receive adulation. We will not be falsely renounced. We would truly be renounced. Then, we will not have to announce our glories. Then we will follow:
smṛtyoḥ krameṇa rasanā-manasī niyojya
tiṣṭhan vraje tad-anurāgi-janānugāmī
kālaṁ nayed akhilam ity upadeśa-sāram
And we will follow:
kṛṣṇaṁ smaran janañ cāsya preṣṭhaṁ nija samīhitam
tat tat kathā-rataś cāsau kuryād vāsaṁ vraje sadā
We will continuously speak hari-kathā, hear kīrtana, and be engaged in harināma, hari-sevā. We will give up all prajalpa, niyamāgraha, jana-sanga, and laulyam.
Our bhakti will not be destroyed. We do not come here to receive help from ordinary people. It is not help, or something to help us relax, it is only our enjoyment. We must first be purified to achieve realization. When realization comes, then we can enter Vṛndāvana. Those who are unqualified come to Vaiṣṇavas and guru, seeking shelter. But they make friction and conflict. They do not come for kīrtana and class, do not attend hari-kathā, and do not chant harināma. They do some drama, dancing and joking, and arrange some place to enjoy, renting a room, and inviting brahmacārīs to feed their desire for enjoyment, and to steal their blood. Also, so-called brahmacārīs and sannyāsīs arrange hotels and motels, and outside they pretend to be renunciants and celibates, but truly, the flow of māyā is running in them. When only God and their lovers are watching, they throw off their saffron, and take some partner for their enjoyment. They enjoy in those hotels. They enjoy week after week, month after month, and year after year, like Saubhari Ṛṣi.
Therefore, everyone is afraid of this vrata. They do not follow it. Why? This is an immediate operation. It does not come very late. It is not bad. Since millions of lives we have been enjoying. Unless we give up this enjoyment, we cannot progress. We do not even have desire to give this up. We come to Guru and Vaiṣṇavas, but do not touch or follow anything from them. We always have the mood, where? Sex is life. Lust is everything. This is very sweet for us. We think it is very tasty. Nothing else gives us any taste. All our business is for this. This is Māyā-devī’s presentation. This is her gift. In old age, as we are leaving our bodies, seeing a young girl or boy, we are attracted and desire to enjoy them. This is very tasteful for us because we have a sinful habit from millions of lives. Who can cleanse us of this? How can we give this up and become truly renounced? Therefore this program is there. It is very difficult. Ordinary people, and ordinary sādhakas, do not want to follow this.
This Kātyāyanī-vrata is to cleanse the conditioned soul of their many anarthas, and all the impediments to following real bhajana, as the guru sent his disciple to be tested by the sweeper lady. Sometimes sannyāsīs, gurus, ācāryas, and priests in big posts, perform bad activities. When this is immediately operated on, and everything is announced openly, it is very beneficial for them. They do not have desire for bhajana, and they perform so many sinful activities. Then everyone criticizes the ācārya, and their true nature is shown. Māyā-devī shows their true colors.
We are in the line of Gurudeva for our protection, and we are following Gurudeva’s inspiration and instruction, by strictly observing this Kātyāyanī-vrata. If we really have desire for bhakti and bhajana, and to go nearby the lotus feet of God, and to enter in Vṛndāvana-dhāma, then, we must receive help. Who will help us?
Yesterday we heard:
ramyā kācid-upāsanā vraja-vadhū vargeṇa yā kalpitā
What is the ramyā kācid-upāsanā? What did the vraja-vadhūs do? What worship do they perform? What austerity do they follow? Now, people say this is not bhakti. They say it is Durgā-pūjā, Kālī-pūjā. Why? What is the reason? Who will help us? We must follow this seriously. We are very fortunate. In Gurudeva’s lifetime, the brahmacārīs were following this vrata for many years. Gurudeva knew everything. He never told us to stop. He encouraged us. Many people complained to him, but he never told us to stop. He knew that this was going on, and he knew that so many were following this vrata, and he sometimes sent letters of encouragement. He knows what everyone is doing. He weighs the actions of all his disciples, and he gives them help and mercy accordingly. For those who like māyā, he says, “Go there immediately. Why are you waiting?”
It is said:
kṛṣṇa yadi kṛpā kare kono bhāgyavāne
guru-antaryāmī-rūpe sikhāye āpane
Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā 22.47
“Kṛṣṇa is situated in everyone’s heart as the caitya-guru, the spiritual master within. When He is kind to some fortunate conditioned soul, He personally gives him lessons so he can progress in devotional service, instructing the person as the Supersoul within and the spiritual master without.
If God desires to help someone, then guru comes, or the Supersoul inspires one in the heart.
kṛṣṇa yadi chuṭe bhakte bhukti mukti diyā
kabhu prema-bhakti nā dena rākhena lukāiyā
Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Adi 8.18
[If a devotee wants liberation or material sense gratification from the Lord, Kṛṣṇa immediately delivers it, but He keeps pure devotional service hidden.]
We come to perform bhajana, but we receive bhoga and mokṣa. Mostly we only desire bhoga and mokṣa. Most people are on this platform. When they get enjoyment they are very happy. When they have a nice bed, many sevakas, many feasts every day, and the festivals are all going on nicely, they say, “This place is very good.”
And if they get mukti, then they say, “Bah!” This is even more enjoyment. But:
kabhu prema-bhakti nā dena rākhena lukāiyā
This kṛṣṇa-bhakti is very hidden. It is not given so easily. Kṛṣṇa does not give this.
And for another it is stated way:
āmi—vijña, ei mūrkhe ‘viṣaya’ kene diba?
sva-caraṇāmṛta diyā ‘viṣaya’ bhulāiba
“They are foolish,” Kṛṣṇa says, “Why should I give them poison? I will give My caraṇāmṛta. Then I will make them renounce all enjoyment, and will give them a higher taste, so that they will never look at this vomit of the sense enjoyers. So they will never look again at the sewage plants. Since millions of lives they have this practice, but how can they give it up? I will help them. I will never give them any of this poison.”
Gurudeva many times told the example: One guru had two disciples. He gave them both a mango, and said, “You should hide this and eat it without anyone watching.”
One went behind a door, and ate it in a hidden place, and then washed his mouth and hands, and returned to Gurudeva. He said, “I have followed your instruction.”
“Did anyone see you?” the guru asked.
The other disciple came back and Gurudeva asked him, “Did you eat it?”
“You said that no one should watch me. I went everywhere, but saw that Gurudeva was there, Paramātmā was there, God was there, as well as many souls. God is everywhere, then how could I hide?”
“Thank you,” Gurudeva said.
The next day, Gurudeva gave them each one rupee.
He said, “Go to the market and buy something that can completely fill up a room in the temple.”
One went and thought, “What can I get with one rupee?” He collected so much straw, trash, and rubbish, and spent money to bring it to the temple. But the room was only half filled.
The guru asked the first disciple, “What did you bring?”
“O Gurudeva,” the first one said, “I thought, ‘What can I get with one rupee,’ so I brought so much free rubbish to fill up the room.”
The guru looked in the room and saw it was half-filled with garbage.
The guru asked his other disciple, “What have you bought?”
He replied, “O Gurudeva, I only spent one paisa, and I have 99 paisa remaining.”
“What did you buy?”
“I bought one match and a candle.”
Then he lit the candle, and the entire room was filled with light.
“Good,” the guru said, “You are really my follower. Just see, the room is full of light.”
To the other disciple, the guru said, “You lost one rupee, half-filled the room with rubbish, and you are also rubbish.”
The next day, the guru said to his disciples, “I am very happy with you. I will give you some wealth to use.”
After one month, the guru asked, “How much do you have left?”
The first disciple said, “I spent everything.”
The guru asked the other one, “How much do you have?”
“Gurudeva, you gave me 10 rupees, now I have 50.”
“How did you make 50 rupees?”
“I engaged it in some business, and increased it to 50 rupees.”
Then his Gurudeva gave him 50 rupees more.
The other disciple said, “O Gurudeva, will you not give me anything?”
Then he gave him five rupees.
After one week, the first disciple came and said, “Gurudeva, I have no more money, please give me some pocket money.”
And the guru asked the other disciple how much money he now had, and he said, “O Gurudeva, now I have 150 rupees.”
One person came and he is a guru-bhogī, an enjoyer of guru’s opulence. And the other is a guru-sevaka, a servant of guru. The guru-bhogī will waste his life uselessly, and will only destroy the property of guru. And the guru-sevaka will develop his bhakti and his Gurudeva’s mission. He has desire to serve his guru. Why should not be guru-bhogīs, who waste everything Śrīla Gurudeva gave us. We should never be like this. We should never act like this. How will Gurudeva be pleased with us? Now, Gurudeva has many sevakas! Thousands and thousands of sevakas!
Once, a guru called his disciples and told them, “I will soon leave this world. I will not stay for a long time. I have one question. If anyone can give the proper answer, I will give my post of ācārya to him. I will write everything in his name. Then I will leave my mortal body.”
“Please tell us the question Gurudeva.”
He said, “Call all my disciples. Then I will tell you.”
They invited everyone, but one person was not invited. He was serving the cows in the shed, was cleaning the kitchen, and working very diligently. They did not call him.
Gurudeva asked, “How can you clean the mind? How can you purify the mind?”
One disciple spoke up, “This is a very easy question Gurudeva. We’ll answer tomorrow.”
He desired to be the next guru.
In the morning he came, and Gurudeva asked him, “How can you purify the mind?”
samyak praṇihite ‘male
apaśyat puruṣaṁ pūrṇaṁ
māyāṁ ca tad-apāśrayām
He said, “I will worship God, and in due course, my mind will be purified.”
Gurudeva did not give any answer.
He said, “I have one disciple, who is working in the cowshed and serving all day. He came one year ago to me and asked me for the dīkṣā-mantra, but I sent him to serve the cows and to work in the kitchen. Why didn’t you invite him?”
The disciples called him, and when he came, the guru said, “I want to ask you a question.”
“Yes Gurudeva, anything you like.”
“How to purify the mind?”
“Gurudeva, I am very foolish. I don’t know anything. I only know, ‘sarvasyaṁ guruve dadyāt—offer everything to guru.’ Whatever I had, I have given you. You have great strength, you know how to purify everything.”
Gurudeva said, “Yes, you are my disciple. You have given yourself to me, now it is my responsibility to take care of you. I have qualification to purify you. I know how to do this.”
All the other disciples were surprised. They were very proud and could not follow Guru-pāda-padma and offer everything to him. Gurudeva accepted the humble guru-sevaka, who had offered himself to his guru, and made him the next ācārya.
Where do we offer ourselves? Who do we offer ourselves to? We are very proud. We are full of anarthas. We are with our own nature. Therefore, during this vrata, Paurṇamāsī, Vṛndā-devī, first offered the gopīs to Kātyāyanī.
She said, “Go and worship Kātyāyanī. She will cleanse you.”
In the morning I told how animals are brutally slaughtered, and that this is the destination of those humans who engage in so many sinful activities, harming other beings, and wasting their valuable human form of life. They misuse the human form of life and create so much bad karma. Then they are punished. Hell comes later, but there is hell in this world. Just see! Just go to the slaughterhouses and see how much the animals suffer. Just go to the hospitals and see how much the people are suffering. They have pain in their bones, in their heart, in their kidneys, everywhere. Oh! First operation is necessary.
Māyā-devī must first cleanse us, then we can come take shelter of guru, and not be guru-bhogīs. Then we will not misuse our brahma-śakti. We will not be enjoyers, the servants of lust. Now, really, if you would ask anyone to honestly say, “Are you free from lust, or are you the servant of lust?” What would they reply? We shave our heads, and stay in the temple for 40 or 50 years, but never give up the servitude of lust. How can we renounce this? How can we get liberation from this?
Therefore, we follow this vrata, remembering these words:
ramyā kācid-upāsanā vraja-vadhū vargeṇa yā kalpitā
Śukadeva Gosvāmī said:
vikrīḍitaṁ vraja vadhūbhir idañ ca viṣṇoḥ
śraddhānvito nuśṛṇuyād atha varṇayed yaḥ
bhaktiṁ parāṁ bhagavati pratilabhya kāmaṁ
hṛd-rogam āśv apahinoty acireṇa dhīraḥ
Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes with the gopīs, especially this cira-harana līlā, steal away all the lust and bad desires in the heart. Everything is cooled by Kṛṣṇa, and then having renounced everything, we can have a pure relationship with Kṛṣṇa.
alpa kari’ nā māniha dāsa hena nāma
alpa bhāgye dāsa nāhi karena bhagavān
agre haya mukti, tabe sarva-bandha-nāśa
tabe se haite pāre śrī kṛṣṇera dāsa
Caitanya-Bhāgavat, Madhya 17.103-104
[Those who are devoid of a service attitude and do not wish to call themselves “kṛṣṇa-dāsa,” are devoid of good fortune. The Lord will never accept them as His servants. Let those who would be liberated from material bondage accept the service of Kṛṣṇa.]
Oh! But it is very painful. In front of everyone, we must receive a necklace of shoes, and be beaten, placed on a donkey, and paraded through the streets, with the people loudly announcing, “Look at the sinner in saintly garb!”
Then the true face of the sādhus is shown.
On the other side, a sādhu is placed on a big palanquin, given many garlands, his feet are washed, and accompanied by a big band, surrounded by many dancers and with followers reciting his praise, he is put on the back of an elephant, and paraded through the streets, where his glories are sung. It is better that we receive a garland of shoes, are tarred and feathered, beaten with sticks, sat on top of a donkey, and defamed throughout the streets. This is much better for us. Then we will change. Then we will be very fortunate. Māyā-devī does this operation. She is very kind for us. It is necessary that everything comes out in the open, otherwise we will not receive clearance from māyā. No one is so kind that they can give us liberation from this lust and desire to enjoy brahma-śakti.
I did not want to speak this, but the mahānta here requested me to speak something, therefore I had to speak the truth—satyaṁ bruyāt, apriyaṁ bruyāt. For this I pray for forgiveness. It is not my qualification. I am also in the well of Māyā-devī. I am very happy with her program. I have given up guru-sevā, and run here to enjoy where everything is favorable. I pray that Kātyāyanī Devī will take her weapons in ten arms, and will catch me, slash me, purify me, and offer me to Yogamāyā.”
patiṁ me kuru te namaḥ
May she offer me to Yogamāyā, who, with another process, will make me leave this physical body, and will give me a spiritual form with which to serve Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa. This program is not so easy, but it is also very easy. Śāstra gives us this process. Which way will we go?
Will we go for mukti and bhoga? Where will we go? This vrata is very serious. This vrata and process is very elaborately given in śāstra. But we are not directly ordered to follow this. If we follow, then a very good result will come. We will not need to suffer anymore, and to run for hellish enjoyment and subsequent pain. A very sweet spiritual higher taste will come.
We should read the different Upaniṣadas, and scriptures that speak very frankly and strongly about the unfortunate condition of conditioned souls in this world. There are many important instructions given. Vyasadeva taught all this to his disciples. Then the disciplic succession continues. Then disciples are able to control themselves, and to properly develop in their bhakti. Now, there is a big group and committee where everyone helps everyone else enjoy. If the disciples go door-to-door, and gives so much to the guru, and guru can enjoy it all, then he says that they are very good disciples. If they give thousands and millions of dollars, he says they are good disciples. But if they do not give money, he says, “You are not my disciples. You are not my followers.”
If they follow bhakti, chant harināma, engage in hari-kathā and hari-kīrtana, the bogus guru says, “You are a useless disciple. How much have you collected?”
This is now our registration record. Is this the process of discerning our level in bhakti? This is bogus. I request, “Pray to Guru-pāda-padma that he may save us. May he protect us so that our life is not spoiled.”
bhaktir evainaṁ nayati
bhaktir evainaṁ darśayati
bhakti vaśaḥ puruṣo
bhaktir eva bhūyasī
We should be engaged in Mahāprabhu’s nāma-saṅkīrtana movement, and follow His line. Mahāprabhu’s vairāgya was very strong.
śikṣārtham ekaḥ puruṣaḥ purāṇaḥ
kṛpāmbudhir yas tam ahaṁ prapadye
Slowly, try to follow everything. It is not possible to jump over everything in one day. Every year we should follow this, and gradually we will be completely removed from our desire for enjoying māyā. We will no longer desire to eat or sleep, to talk, to look at anything, or enjoy anything. Everything may be there, but it will be as if nothing is there. We will be cleared of all these things. Everything may be present, but we will be completed detached. We have no taste for this, for a higher taste will have come.
Here I end. May the Mahānta Mahārāja be pleased, and give me some shelter. I have not completed this topic, but it will be complete one day.
[CC-by-NDNC Bhakta Bandhav]