Where Do You Belong and Hiding Your Relation
The fourth verse teaches sambandha-jñāna and when the sādhaka comes to the fifth verse, he realizes his perfected form and which group he is eternally serving in. Kṛṣṇa has many forms, such as Rādhā Ramaṇa, Rasa Bihārī, Rādhā Govinda, Gopinātha, Madana Mohana, Rādhā Vallabha. Similarly, there are many different groups. How can the sādhaka realize to which group he belongs?He has to pray to Kṛṣṇa and by Kṛṣṇa’s will, he will attain the shelter of a particular group. There are many groups, like those of vilāsa mañjarī, guṇa mañjarī, lavanga Manjara, rūpa mañjarī, or Rati mañjarī. Realizations of the group we belong to, which Deity is the object of our worship, and who looks after us is of great importance and can only be obtained by doing bhajana. First the sādhaka has to take shelter and then everything will come naturally and his service will be very sweet.
The sādhaka can stay at any place and work for the maintenance of his body and family, but he should always keep a hidden relation with that person who is very near and dear to the Lord. And he should pray, “Ayi nanda-tanuja, I am devoid of knowledge and have fallen in the deep well of saṁsara. Please grant me relationship with Your dear devotee.”
This relationship with the bhaktas should be confidential. Wherever one has acquired and who is one’s helper should be kept secret. Śukadeva Gosvāmī never mentioned the holy names of Rādhārānī or the vraja-gopīs. He always said, “one gopī, one gopī,” but he did not say which specific gopī.
anayārādhito nūnaṁ bhagavān harir īśvaraḥ
yan no vihāya govindaḥ prīto yām anayad rahaḥ
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.30.28
[The Vraja-gopīs said: O my friend! Leaving us aside Kṛṣṇa has gone off to a secluded place with a particular gopī. She must truly be expert in worshiping (anayārādhito) Him, for He was so pleased with Her service that He has left us all behind.]
Sukadeva Gosvāmī did not mention the name of the gopī who was doing so much ārādhana. The sādhaka should always keep secret which group he is in, and who the group leader is, from whom the flow of bhakti is emanating, and so forth. Otherwise, envious people like to break others’ faith into many pieces.
Once Śrīla Gurudeva called all the brahmacārīs and asked them, “Today you should tell me who you like in this temple and who your guardian is.”
The boys were very clever and said, “Oh, this Bābā,” or, “that senior devotee.” They did not say, “You.” Gurudeva was very happy to hear this. It is not good to tell openly that he is our everything. This should be kept secret. Everyone can see the branches, leaves, and fruits of a tree, but its roots are hidden in the ground. The tree takes nutrition from far away with its roots and brings the nutrients to all the fruits and leaves, yet he never shows his roots. Similarly, one’s relation should be kept hidden. We call the Vrajavāsīs gopī and gopa. These names come from gopaniya which means secret and hidden.
The Vraja-devīs never say that they met or spoke with Kṛṣṇa. And even if other gopīs abuse the mañjarīs, they never say that Rādhārānī or Lalitā gave them a specific order. Their hearts might break, but they never open their mouths. This verse teaches us how to do this tricky business.
In this verse Maharpabhu is crying, “Ayi Nanda tanuja.” He did not mention Kṛṣṇa’s name directly. Furthermore he said, “kinkaram patitam.” Who is kiṅkara? “I am patita, fallen. Who will rescue me from this ocean?” And then he said, “krpaya nija pada pankaja.” Who does he refer to when he says nija pada pankaja? He did not mention any names.
It is the rule of the gopīs to keep everything secret. If you mention that you heard nice and sweet classes, you will lose everything. Name and fame can be given to anybody, but the relationship with the devotees of the Lord must be kept secret.
Śukadeva Gosvāmī is very clever. He spoke all the glories of God’s incarnations to Pariksita Mahārāja and a hundred stories of Prahlāda, Dhruva, Uttānapāda and so forth, but he never mentioned that he takes the shelter of the Vraja-devīs. He said, vaco vibhūti na to paramārtha. We can give a little paramatha, some hints about these things in a hidden way, like how we would if we were involved some sort of a tricky business.
If you like to progress in bhakti and bhajana, make relation with a pure and bona fide divine master like Rūpa, Raghunātha, Jīva, or Gopāla Bhaṭṭa Gosvāmī. Pray to them, but keep your prayers secret, like the guru-mantra. Where the flow comes from and how we maintain our bhakti should be kept secret. If you leave your container containing camphor opened, the camphor loses its fragrance.
Conquering Lust and Achieving True Happiness
Now we will hear another side of this commentary. Śrīla Gurudeva wrote in his purport that the sādhaka who has a desire for harināma-saṅkīrtana neither gets joyful by gaining prosperity nor bothered by difficulties. He knows that there are no solutions for the problems of this world. The world is made of problems, and nobody can find happiness. People think others to be happy, and that they themselves would be happy in their position, but in fact nobody is truly happy.
Once, a wealthy king was suffering from a chronic disease. A sādhu came and said, “I know the remedy for your disease. After taking my medicine for only three days, you will be cured and healthy for the rest of your life.”
The king said, “If this is true, I shall give you whatever you desire after the three days of my treatment.”
The sādhu gave three sachets of powdered medicine, and said, “Take this for three days on an empty stomach in the morning. There is only one thing you should be cautious about. At the time you take this medicine, do not think of a camel. If a camel comes in your thoughts, the medicine will turn deadly.”
The king was unconcerned about this, and accepted the medicine from the sādhu.
The next morning, the king wanted to start his treatment, but as soon as he opened the sachet, a thought of a camel came into his mind. In anxiety of getting killed by the medicine, he threw it away. The next morning, he tried to take the second sachet, but then not only one but many camels came to his mind. The third day the same happened and thus he had thrown away all the medicine he got from the sādhu. When the sādhu came back to the king later on and inquired if he was still diseased, the king denied it, since he was afraid of the medicine and embarrassed to ask for more.
People are addicted to troublesome thoughts. But the sādhaka never worries about happiness or unhappiness.
Gaurasundara instructs us, “He Nanda-nandana, I am Your servant life after life. Please make me the insignificant foot dust on Your lotus feet. If my position is insignificant I will never distance myself from You. Due to my past karma, I fell to this world, and ever since, lust, anger, greed, madness, envy, and other anarthas try to hinder me on the path back to You. However much I try to satisfy my worldly desires, they never come to an end, but instead increase day by day. The association of my senses means asat-saṅga, since they always strive for mundane enjoyment, but never get satisfied.”
Mahāprabhu therefore prayed:
kāmādīnāṁ kati na katidhā pālitā durnideśās
teṣāṁ jātā mayi na karuṇā na trapā nopaśāntiḥ
utsṛjyaitān atha Yadu-pate sāmprataṁ labdha-buddhis
tvām āyātaḥ śaraṇam abhayaṁ māṁ niyuṅkṣvātma-dāsye
Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya 22.16
[O my Lord, there is no limit to the unwanted orders of lusty desires. Although I have rendered these desires so much service, they have not shown any mercy to me. I have not been ashamed to serve them, nor have I even desired to give them up. O my Lord, O head of the Yadu dynasty, recently, however, my intelligence has been awakened, and now I am giving them up. Due to transcendental intelligence, I now refuse to obey the unwanted orders of these desires, and I now come to You to surrender myself at Your fearless lotus feet. Kindly engage me in Your personal service and save me.]
For millions of lives, the jīvas have been entangled in lust, anger, greed, madness, and envy. These desires never get satisfied, nor do they ever free the jīvas from their slavery. They are always increasing. Mahāprabhu compared these desires with the waves of the ocean. The waves never stop. They continuously come, and if a small wave comes, it does not mean that they are gradually diminishing; the next wave will be bigger. Today you have a small desire and if you satisfy it, your desires will be bigger tomorrow. By force they bring you under their control.
Mahāprabhu said that the waves of these thoughts make the jīvas sick and weak, and thus they lose the hope of finding help in this world. They see no option other than to associate and take shelter of the agents of Māyā. Hence, they distance themselves from God and His family because of their own weakness. Asat-saṅga is like a hurricane that uproots trees and blows dust and dirt everywhere. Due to weakness, this asat-saṅga captures the jīva and holds on to him.
Mahāprabhu taught how the sādhaka should fix his faith. He should pray, “Ayi nanda tanuja kiṅkaraṁ patitaṁ mām viṣame bhavāmbudhau. O Nanda-nandana, I am most fallen, but please make me Your insignificant servant. Please make me like the dust of Your lotus feet. Then I will be affixed to You, and will never turn away from You and run to others.”
Mahāprabhu said that the holy name is like a boat. If the soul takes shelter of this boat on which Śrī Guru is the captain, then he can cross the ocean of material existence and reach the transcendental realm. Therefore, the sādhaka should take shelter of the foot dust of the mahā-bhāgavata Guru and Vaiṣṇavas—sthita dhūli sadṛśaṁ mām vicintaya. A servant of Śrī Guru-pāda-padma and the Vaiṣṇavas will never miss anything.
First, it is said, “This verse first states: Ayi nanda tanuja kiṅkaraṁ patitaṁ mām viṣame bhavāmbudhau—I have forgotten my position as Your kiṅkara. Therefore I fell into the ocean of māyā where I experience extreme suffering.” Then it says, “Kṛpayā tava pada paṅkaja—by Your mercy, make me like Your foot dust.” The sādhaka prays to become like Kṛṣṇa’s foot dust. Kṛṣṇa’s food dust are Guru and Vaiṣṇavas, who are always present with Kṛṣṇa.
Guru and Vaiṣṇavas are śarangata-vātsalya, protective and affectionate to those who take shelter. Therefore the sādhaka has to take shelter of them and try to become attached to them like their foot dust. They should approach them praying, “Please forgive me for my faults and defects, and give me shelter at your lotus feet.” Why does the sādhaka want to be like their foot dust? In this way, he will never be separated from them. If the sādhaka gets an important position, he will go here and there and his understanding will be different. Therefore he likes to be insignificant.
tomāra nitya-dāsa mui, tomā pāsariyā
paḍiyāchoṅ bhavārṇave māyā-baddha hañā
Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya 20.33
I am Your eternal servant, but I forgot Your Lordship. Now I have fallen into the ocean of nescience and have been conditioned by the external energy.
kṛpā kari’ kara more pada-dhūli-śama
tomāra sevaka karoṅ tomāra sevana
Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya 20.34
Be causelessly merciful to Me by giving Me a place with the particles of dust at Your lotus feet so that I may engage in the service of Your Lordship as Your eternal servant.
punaḥ ati-utkaṇṭhā, dainya ha-ila udgama
kṛṣṇa-ṭhāñi māge prema-nāma-saṅkīrtana
Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya 20.35
Natural humility and eagerness then awoke in Lord Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. He prayed to Kṛṣṇa to be able to chant the mahāmantra in ecstatic love.
Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī wrote, “Oh Prabhu, I am Your eternal servant. But somehow I forgot you and fell into the ocean of māyā. Now, I am conditioned and arrested by māyā. At all sides I am surrounded by māyā, and thus I cannot see anything other than māyā. Prabhu, please forgive me. You may take away everything from me and make me a small and insignificant particle of dust attached to Your lotus feet. Please make me the servant of the servant of Your servant.”
tvad-bhṛtya-bhṛtya-paricāraka-bhṛtya-bhṛtya-
bhṛtyasya bhṛtya iti māṁ smara loka-nātha
Mukunda-mala-stotra 25
Why does the sādhaka desire to become the servant of the servant of the lotus feet of the Lord? He does not ask to be the foot dust and to take shelter of just anybody—he only approaches the Lord.
[CC-by-NDNC Bhakta Bandhav]