Many years ago I joined the maṭha and met my Gurudeva, and after hearing his hari-kathā for a period of time I told him, “I have given up all the love and affection I had for my wife, for my father and mother, and for my body. I forever offer everything unto your lotus feet.” Hearing this, my Gurudeva began to weep. Although I rendered very little service, by my Gurudeva’s special mercy he thought, “He is rendering me so much service.” Although I am a dry straw, by his causeless mercy I am preaching everywhere and so many are hearing from me.
When Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī and Śrīla Sanātana Gosvāmī used to meet, they did not discuss mundane topics like, “Are you okay? I am okay. Is this body okay?” Rather, they inquired, “Oh, how is your kṛṣṇa-bhajana? Are there any problems? How is your bhajana developing?” They discussed the books they were writing, like Brhad-Bhāgavatāmṛta, Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu, Ujjvala nīlamaṇi, Padyāvalī, and especially the two books, Lalita-mādhava and Vidagdha-mādhava. In this way they passed their time, for hours and hours, throughout the day and night. Bhakti is a continually flowing current, and this current will not remain for a moment anywhere. It will gradually progress from śraddhā to anarthanivṛtti to niṣṭhā, ruci, āsakti, bhāva, and prema.
Why can’t you become like Śrī Śukadeva Gosvāmī? He didn’t consider what possessions he had, or where they were. He would simply call out, “O Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa.” Some of you ask me, “Should I marry or not, Mahārāja? It is a very big problem.” Or, “I want to bring so much money, but there is some dispute. What should I do?” Don’t come to me with all these things. Why, despite hearing for so many long years, this detachment is not coming? You should ask your heart. The real fruits, tattva-jñāna and vairāgya, are not coming.
December 13, 2001 Germany